Is he The One?

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Love. This four letter word has the ability of creating or shattering one’s entire world. It is a job tough job. In today’s world, with so many people around, it is almost impossible to find true love. If you do find it, it is better that you know it well. In our parents’ and even grandparents’ younger days, life was a lot simpler. You are asked to many this guy and you fall in love later. Or you fall in love with someone and he thinks it is his job to make an honest woman out of you. So, for some unknown reason, two people used to get married. The miraculous thing was that they used to stay married for their entire lifetime. Why do I say miraculous? Well, I say it because in today’s world, divorce is as common as the McNuggets that you buy in McDonald’s. That is very sad. Much more sad than you realize. Today, everything happens quick after the wedding. People simply get bored of their marriage. Or even worse, they fall out of love with each other..

In today’s rapidly changing world, how do we know if the guy we just met will not have fleeting feelings as well? It is, after all, very difficult to judge, isn’t it? Right at this point come the words ‘trust’ and ‘faith’. Mind you, these words are said to be enough to move an entire mountain! So, let us say that you have been going out with a guy for a while and you realize that you have feelings for him. Firstly, are you sure that it isn’t loneliness that you’re trying to kick away? Further, let us say that the guy reciprocates your feelings. Well, that is a pretty happy situation right now. You’re both together and happy. He wakes you up in the morning, takes care of you, you make breakfast for him sometimes or just get him some coffee from somewhere. Whatever it may be, you think that you’re in love with him. How do you know that he is playing for keeps? That’s another difficult question. So, let us just answer this question: How do you know if he is The One?

1) He makes you giddy with happiness

Well, this has to be slightly different from the kind of happy that your guy friends make you. This ‘giddy happy’ is to feel special. Like it is only for you and no one else. You feel treasured. You want to spend all your free time with him. Maybe sometimes even neglect your girlfriends. But, that is just because you’re so head over heels for him that you do not notice. He makes you want to fly. He shushes all your nightmares and silences all your demons. You feel free with him.

2) He takes care of you and even your parents!

Oh, I would say that this guy is a keeper. Caring for just you would be difficult for him, with all the PMSing and mood swings. But, he managed to be there for you and also, for your parents. He treats your family like his own and so, your parents completely approve of him. You know, family can be a really obstacle sometimes, but they do help you see things clearly.

3) He totally gets you

This is a difficult one. Knowing that most people do not understand even themselves, it is almost cruel of us to expect that the guy totally understands us. But you know, this understanding keeps the spark going. If you don’t get him or he doesn’t get you, after a while it just won’t work. Understanding and honesty are the key elements of a strong, surviving relationship.

4) You feel comfortable around him

If your boyfriend is at your place and you can laze around with him in sweatpants and no make up, with your hair tied up in a bun all messy and you both just do not care, I would say you both are really comfortable around each other. Every relationship is a two way street. So, make sure that you do not try and change him. Make him feel comfortable too. Men never change when we say it. They change when they feel like it. So, do not waste your energy on random fights. Just let it be.

5) You feel closer after every fight

Every couple has fights. They may be because of lack of honesty or jealousy or a misunderstanding. But after you have beaten the issue with all that you have got and you both calm down, how do you feel? How does he handle the situation? Does he say mean things to you when you guys fight? If yes, that is wrong and hurtful. Make him understand that. You need to clear your issues in the beginning so that they never come up later. Tell him how you feel about things. After fighting with each other, discuss it like calm individuals. If you feel closer to your guy after a fight and vice versa, you’re meant to be with him. If you are filled with more anger, betrayal or sadness, then I think you should let him know that.

Of course, there are no hard and fast rules for knowing whether he is The One. Everybody has their own opinions. In my view, the 5 points that I have listed here are very important for knowing if he is The One and also, for knowing whether the relationship will actually sustain in the long run or not.

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