‘Read others thoughts by their gestures’
During my high school days, accustomed, I used to attend medical entrance coaching at a famous centre in the town. I peculiarly remember this chemistry professor who randomly picked the students without their homework done just like that from a class of nearly fifty and above and needless to say I was caught every single time I missed a work . He was a professional in handpicking kids that way. I appreciated this talent of my teacher so much that I later discovered the key behind it. It was psychological.Human communication took place by the use of gestures, postures, positions and distances than by any other method.Later, my own investigations showed that little useful information was available on body language and most of this information consisted of closely set manuscripts and theoretical assumptions compiled in an objective manner.It is essential to have a greater insight into communication with our fellow humans so that we can have a deeper understanding of other people, and, therefore, of ourselves.
‘A non-verabalist delights in watching the non verbal cues and signals of human beings’
Many people find it difficult in accepting that humans are still biologically animals. Homo sapiens is a species of primate, a hairlesss ape that has learned to walk on two limbs and has a clever, advanced brain.Like any other species, we are dominated by biological rules that control our actions, reactions, body language and gestures.The fascinating thing is that human animal is rarely aware of his postures,movements, and gestures that can tell one story while his voice may be telling another. Charles Darwin’s The Expressions of the Emotions of Man and Animals published in 1872 and Julius Fast’s published book in 1970 were the pioneers of body language.
” The total impact of a message is about 7 percent verbal (words only)and 38 percent vocal (including tone of voice,inflection and other sounds) and 55 percent non verbal.” -Albert Mehrabian.
One of the most serious mistakes a novice in body language can make is to interpret a solitary gesture in isolation of other gestures or other circumstances. For example, scratching the head can mean a number of things- dandruff,fleas,sweating,uncertainty, forgetfulness or lying, depending on the other gestures that occur at the same time, so we must always look at gesture clusters for a correct reading. So, here is a set of right body languages that makes you confident and approachable.
1.Speak with open palms
One of the most valuable ways of discovering whether someone is being open and honest or not is to look for palm displays.Like most body languages, this is an unconcious gesture,one that gives you a feeling or hunch that the other person is telling the truth. When a child is lying, his palms are hidden behind his back. Similarly, a husband who wants to conceal his whereabouts after a night out with the boys will often hide his palms in his pocket. Thus, the hidden palms give the wife a hunch that he is holding back the truth. Therefore, open arms are a mark of honesty.
2. Shake hands like a man
When two dominant people shake hands,a symbolic struggle takes place as each person tries to turn the other person’s arm into a submissive position. The result is a vice-like hand shake with both palms remaining in the vertical position as each person transmits a feeling of respect and rapport to the other. This vice-like vertical palm grip is the hand shake that a father teaches his son when he shows to ‘shake hands like a man’ and this hand shake is the best too.
3. Avoid mouth guard
The mouth guard is one of the obvious gestures as that of a child’s. The hand covers the mouth while speaking as the brain sub-consciously instructs it to try and suppress the deceitful words that are being said. Sometimes, this gesture may be only some fingers over the mouth or even a closed fist, but its meaning remains the same. Remember, when playing the role of a gangster or a criminal, late Humphrey Bogart often used this gesture when discussing criminal act with other gangsters. This is a mark of dishonesty and the listeners might abstain from you because of this.
4. Look into the eyes
Research shows that of the information relayed to a person’s brain, 87% comes via eyes, 9% via ears and 4% via other senses. To maintain the maximum absorption of feelings and thoughts, it is important to look directly into the listeners or speakers. Make sure that the palm is visible to them when you are speaking, which can add to your body language scores.
5.Do not copy any gestures
Make sure you never copy the gestures of others and imitate them exactly. It poses a non verbal challenge. Even though these ‘carbon copying’ is a means by which one person tells the other that he is agreement with his ideas and attitudes,this unconscious mimicry can be irritable and an turn obnoxious. Therefore it is important that you remain unique and identical though you can act a little of what the other person do.
So, since what people say is often very different from what they think or feel,these 5 small tips can make you understand if someone is lying, how to make yourself likeable, how to get attention and co-operation from others, how to interview and negotiate successfully, and moreover how to behave your best.